Warning; this is going to be a long post…now may be a good time to grab a cup of coffee and a snack!
I think it’s time I pop in for a little pregnancy update. I mean, who publishes a blog post exclaiming their excitement for their pregnancy only to vanish into internet thin air for the next couple months?! Turns out…this girl!
The truth is, I haven’t been incredibly motivated to keep up with the blog because I’ve been focused on savoring every experience and moment of this pregnancy. While the beginning was rough (my husband reminds me of this; I’m pretty sure I blocked that time from my memory as a means of self-preservation), I now feel energized and want to be out and about doing all the things to get ready for this little guy’s arrival.
I wrestled with the thought of sharing my pregnancy in the beginning. What started out as a lack of desire to blog because of sickness turned into insecurity about putting personal information about my growing family on the internet for the world to see. And while I enjoy reading other mommy blogs and stories about other women’s pregnancy and childbirth, I wasn’t sure if I was ready to open myself up to that same experience. Now, 31 weeks into the pregnancy, I am feeling more confident in my abilities to carry this little bean and share some of my experiences. In some ways I’m sad I didn’t document the whole process, and feel guilty overall about the neglect of this internet space that brings me so much joy, but in other ways I’m grateful to be spared the unsolicited opinions and judgments of others.
Behind the scenes my husband and I have been diligently taking weekly bump photos and I’ll admit I love looking back at them. Here a couple of my favorites; my how quickly he is growing!
The human body is absolutely amazing and I’m still floored every single time I feel a nudge or kick (or catapulting movement) from inside. Sometimes I wonder what he’s up to in there; it’s becoming harder and harder to be patient for his arrival but I know he still has some cooking to do.
While things have overall been wonderful, there have been some challenges and bumps in the road. I scheduled my routine 26 week tests, including the dreaded glucose test, and the results were less than desirable. I tested one point high on my 1 hour glucose test and had to return the following week for a 3 hour glucose test, which also did not fall within normal ranges.
The dreaded diagnosis of gestational diabetes was delivered. (Cue horror film music.) The diagnosis created a lot of insecurity, doubt, and rattled my overall confidence in becoming a mother. He’s not even here and I felt as though I wasn’t properly providing for him; my only job is to take care of him and protect him from harm yet the internet and “informational” brochures convinced me I was pumping him with gigantic-baby-growing-glucose around the clock and causing unwanted stress to his tiny little body. I am extremely grateful to my husband for stepping in as the voice of reason when my hormones so terribly want to take over and over-react; he has been a constant source of support and reassurance.
After testing my blood sugars first thing in the morning and an hour after each meal for several weeks my confidence returned; all the results were within normal ranges and I began to feel like this diagnosis was not a black mark on my pregnancy record, but an opportunity to make sure I am making the healthiest choices for the remainder of the pregnancy. I can type that sentence now, but trust me when I say it took many, many days of doubt, tears, and insecurity before reaching that point. And, even now, some days are better than others.
Ironically, the diagnosis of gestational diabetes is what motivated me to return to the kitchen. It was the kick in the pants I needed to focus more on the food choices I was making for our family and put additional effort into meal and snack planning. Like all moms, my baby’s health is top priority and I dedicated myself to creating the healthiest environment for him to grow. Luckily, the efforts of meal planning, measuring portion sizes, and testing blood glucose have paid off in desirable readings, even though in the back of my mind I know that as the pregnancy progresses my insulin resistance could potentially strengthen. For now I am trying to stay positive and taking it one day at a time.
The diagnosis of GDM has also motivated me to continue to stay active. Even when I’m tired. Even when I want to curl up on the couch in my jammies with a blanket. Physical activity throughout this pregnancy has been a blessing; it allows me to clear my head after a stressful day and helps me feel like I’m doing something productive to prepare for my upcoming labor and delivery. There are so many unexpected sources of stress and worry with a pregnancy, especially a first pregnancy, but walking, getting on the elliptical, and doing prenatal yoga have helped me channel my emotions into something positive. And, for that, I am extremely grateful.
I’m in the middle of week 32 and actually looking forward to the weeks to come. While there is still a lot of unknown on the horizon, like when he will get here and what he will look like and how my body will handle labor and delivery, I’m feeling strong both physically and emotionally. I’m thankful for those around me who have provided love, support, and encouraging words along the way; these moments of positivity have meant more to me than they probably know. I’ll try to be better about updating the website in the coming months…but no promises! We’ve got a baby to continue growing! 😉